Growing up they labelled me a trouble maker; parents wouldn't let their children hang out with me, though I never did anything other than defend or stand up for myself when I needed to. At school the teachers took it upon themselves to call me and others stupid. They were, for the most part, the type of teachers who, apart from degrading their students on a near daily basis, would refuse to release them when their parents came to pick them up from class early for some reason or another – apparently the public school system owns it's students – or utterly lose it and throw glue bottles at their students, an incident which a cousin of mine was the victim of and my sister a witness to. There was even a time, during my 3rd year there (my 2nd go at Grade 1) during which another student and I were told to go to our classrooms before that particular teacher "blistered our asses", which, anybody with any intelligence realises is a very serious threat, especially in a school. Our infraction: being literally about three feet in the woods that bordered the school's grounds, and with no intent to go any further, I might add.
So, in March 2000, while I was about half way through Grade 5 (my 7th year in that hell hole) enough was enough, and I left that horrible school to be home-schooled. There was at least one teacher who took it upon himself to let me know I’d never graduate, that I couldn't graduate because I wouldn’t have this or I wouldn’t have that. Others outside the school system said it was wrong; I’d miss out on all the social aspect of school they said. But they were all wrong, every single one of them.
At first I'll admit I gave my mum a hard time; I spent more time watching TV than I spent doing any school work, but as time passed I found myself in my mid teens finally realising the importance of education. I began to educate myself on my own. I found that educating myself on my own time, in my own way, and for my own reasons meant that I didn't mind doing the work and even enjoyed doing it. In the end I have learned more on my own than that pathetic joke of a public school system could have ever offered me. I left before I could become the angry, bitter person my years in that degrading environment began molding me into; a person who would have, I'm sure, found himself in a world of trouble by now if he wouldn't have been fortunate enough to be able to leave. And last year, contrary to everything my teachers had said or believed about me back then, I got my G.E.D. Essentially I graduated without the pomp and ceremony.
Later on in the year I began the process of getting into the Canadian Forces to work in the Air Force as an Aviation Systems Technician (AVN Tech), but soon after beginning the process I was told that my G.E.D., which is fully equivalent to a high school a diploma, was only recognised as being equivalent to Grade 10. And though, after investigation, they found that they were in fact wrong – as I had always known – I at least felt as if there was a general feeling within the system that the G.E.D. wasn’t worth anything. I began to wonder how many people around the country had walked into a recruiting centre and had wrongly been informed their G.E.D. wasn’t going to be enough for them to do the trade they were interested in and never followed up on the issue. I was left with the feeling that the system, if nothing else, felt I had little chance of qualifying for my trade. Leading up to my aptitude test I studied and studied with little direction on what it was I should be studying, and once again, I achieved my goal. I scored high on my CFAT (Canadian Forces Aptitude Test) – it would certainly be interesting to know exactly how high, but your score is not revealed – and qualified for many specialised trades within the Forces that, as we had been told, even college graduates can often have difficulty qualifying for. I achieved all these goals despite those who said, or at least thought, I couldn’t.
And of course, it continues. Now my life isn’t moving along at a pace everybody feels appropriate; I don’t live the way they expect a 22 year old male to live or to want to live. The popular belief now is, I think, that I will do nothing with my life and amount to nothing. Those I care for outside of my immediate family lose faith in me, and though I will not say I've done anything of significance to give then reason to not feel that way, I feel they very much underestimate me. Time and time again I have achieved everything I have put my mind to. I’ll not pretend it was all easy, nor will I propose that I am flawless; I have my faults, but so do you. We all do. So, if you can’t accept me for who I am, my flaws included, than I am very sorry you are willing to dismiss me so easily. Hold your grudges, count me out, and to-morrow I’ll prove you wrong, just as I have done again and again in the past when there have been people who have done so.
Call me arrogant if you like, but I’ll not apologise for everything I’ve accomplished, for what little pride it has given me in myself, or for expressing that pride. I’m not writing this to justify anything to anybody; I’m not seeking to gain your approval or respect. And certainly don't make the mistake of believing that I'm trying to paint a picture of my life in which the whole world has been against me. I'm intelligent enough to realise that though I may have had what were, for me, a few rough times during my life, for everybody like myself whom has had similar experiences there are at least 100 others who have experienced much worse.
My reason for writing this has not been solely for myself, it has been for everybody who has ever been told they can’t do this, or they can’t do that. It’s for everybody who looks about them and finds people believing or hoping they will fail. It doesn't matter how your life has unfolded up until now, there is always a choice. Our futures are in our own hands. If we give up, if we don’t make an effort to better ourselves and our lives, than we will be proving them right; we'll only be letting ourselves down. I don't know about you, but I'm not going to substantiate other's opinions and assumptions about myself.
So, in March 2000, while I was about half way through Grade 5 (my 7th year in that hell hole) enough was enough, and I left that horrible school to be home-schooled. There was at least one teacher who took it upon himself to let me know I’d never graduate, that I couldn't graduate because I wouldn’t have this or I wouldn’t have that. Others outside the school system said it was wrong; I’d miss out on all the social aspect of school they said. But they were all wrong, every single one of them.
At first I'll admit I gave my mum a hard time; I spent more time watching TV than I spent doing any school work, but as time passed I found myself in my mid teens finally realising the importance of education. I began to educate myself on my own. I found that educating myself on my own time, in my own way, and for my own reasons meant that I didn't mind doing the work and even enjoyed doing it. In the end I have learned more on my own than that pathetic joke of a public school system could have ever offered me. I left before I could become the angry, bitter person my years in that degrading environment began molding me into; a person who would have, I'm sure, found himself in a world of trouble by now if he wouldn't have been fortunate enough to be able to leave. And last year, contrary to everything my teachers had said or believed about me back then, I got my G.E.D. Essentially I graduated without the pomp and ceremony.
Later on in the year I began the process of getting into the Canadian Forces to work in the Air Force as an Aviation Systems Technician (AVN Tech), but soon after beginning the process I was told that my G.E.D., which is fully equivalent to a high school a diploma, was only recognised as being equivalent to Grade 10. And though, after investigation, they found that they were in fact wrong – as I had always known – I at least felt as if there was a general feeling within the system that the G.E.D. wasn’t worth anything. I began to wonder how many people around the country had walked into a recruiting centre and had wrongly been informed their G.E.D. wasn’t going to be enough for them to do the trade they were interested in and never followed up on the issue. I was left with the feeling that the system, if nothing else, felt I had little chance of qualifying for my trade. Leading up to my aptitude test I studied and studied with little direction on what it was I should be studying, and once again, I achieved my goal. I scored high on my CFAT (Canadian Forces Aptitude Test) – it would certainly be interesting to know exactly how high, but your score is not revealed – and qualified for many specialised trades within the Forces that, as we had been told, even college graduates can often have difficulty qualifying for. I achieved all these goals despite those who said, or at least thought, I couldn’t.
And of course, it continues. Now my life isn’t moving along at a pace everybody feels appropriate; I don’t live the way they expect a 22 year old male to live or to want to live. The popular belief now is, I think, that I will do nothing with my life and amount to nothing. Those I care for outside of my immediate family lose faith in me, and though I will not say I've done anything of significance to give then reason to not feel that way, I feel they very much underestimate me. Time and time again I have achieved everything I have put my mind to. I’ll not pretend it was all easy, nor will I propose that I am flawless; I have my faults, but so do you. We all do. So, if you can’t accept me for who I am, my flaws included, than I am very sorry you are willing to dismiss me so easily. Hold your grudges, count me out, and to-morrow I’ll prove you wrong, just as I have done again and again in the past when there have been people who have done so.
Call me arrogant if you like, but I’ll not apologise for everything I’ve accomplished, for what little pride it has given me in myself, or for expressing that pride. I’m not writing this to justify anything to anybody; I’m not seeking to gain your approval or respect. And certainly don't make the mistake of believing that I'm trying to paint a picture of my life in which the whole world has been against me. I'm intelligent enough to realise that though I may have had what were, for me, a few rough times during my life, for everybody like myself whom has had similar experiences there are at least 100 others who have experienced much worse.
My reason for writing this has not been solely for myself, it has been for everybody who has ever been told they can’t do this, or they can’t do that. It’s for everybody who looks about them and finds people believing or hoping they will fail. It doesn't matter how your life has unfolded up until now, there is always a choice. Our futures are in our own hands. If we give up, if we don’t make an effort to better ourselves and our lives, than we will be proving them right; we'll only be letting ourselves down. I don't know about you, but I'm not going to substantiate other's opinions and assumptions about myself.
